Monday, December 21, 2009

What if what is considered polite in your culture is considered rude where you live


What if what is considered polite in your culture is considered rude where you live?
I eat quietly. Here, that means you don't like your food. Men touch each other here, even if they like only women. If they do that where I come from it means they are gay. Shoes are taken off everywhere. Where I come from it's considered rude to take off your shoes. I have gotten used to cultural clashes. But how will the folks in Yahoo Answers handle this? I'm from Southern California and I live in Vietnam. Make sure to list where you are and if you live somewhere different. Thanks! Bill
Etiquette - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Interesting observations... We learned in our business school that you need to be very aware of cultural differences with the global scale of business operations now. We saw examples such as, the use of space in an office- in the US a large, secluded corner office is ideal, in Japan this would be a terrible thing, they prefer to not be singled out for accomplishments and prefer to work together. There were many differences we learned about, but I really just wanted to sasy that you bring up some interesting points! Oh, I am from Canada, not much cultural difference here when compared to US
2 :
Interesting question. I'm in Canada now, but I grew up in many different countries around the world (including several Islamic countries). I learned from an early age that I was never to lock eyes with men, nor shake men's hands (I was a 9-year-old girl when I was taught this). I think it's affected me somewhat even as a grown-up, especially when dealing with men here in Canada, even though shaking their hands would not be taboo.
3 :
I am a European who has been living abroad for the last 30 years : Africa : North and West Africa, Asia : Middle East, South East + India, Europe. Have traveled nearly all over the US. First rule and thing to remember : As a foreigner living abroad you are first and foremost a guest there and as such you should abide by the local rules and respect their culture and etiquette even if /when it clashes with yours. Do your homework before going to a new country. Everybody knows there are different cultures and, when meeting somebody they know there may be differences. Inside your home and/or when you are within you own community : behave according to your rules. Outside your home or when you invite people from other cultures or when you are invited by a person of another culture : abide by their rules their country. e.g. it is very rude to burb to show our happiness about good food but... we can show our appreciation by complementing ad nauseam the cook or the host & hostess; e.g. leaving your shoes outside : rude in our culture when you are invited but when you think about it it is the most hygienic thing to do. Just visualize what you drag in on your soles....So, if you see your host without shoes, ask him if he'd prefer for you to leave your shoes outside. Anyway, most of the expats we know have taken the habit of removing their shoes in their own home. We automatically remove our shoes when invited unless the host is wearing his. e.g. in some countries people pick their toes while eating. Don't do it and just ignore them. Make sure, though, not to eat from the same part of dish if they eat with hteir hands. e.g. drinks : If you are inviting moslems just do not have any alcohol in evidence and do not serve it. One can do without this once in a while although some moslems do drink. Better to get to know them better before suggesting this type of drink. I would say : enjoy your time abroad, learn from them and if what you see has a better impact on your life, use it or follow it. The main thing is RESPECT and, all things considered, human beings are very adaptable. If you don't like what you see or can't stand most of what happens >>> Just go back home, where you came from! My advice : do your homework, check how things are done and adapt yourself but do not forget about your good manners when you go back home. Always try to put your best foot forward!
4 :
I truly believe that if you live within another culture, out of courtesy to your new neighbours/colleagues/friends, you observe their customs when with them - so yes, you should remove your shoes, and maybe make appreciative noises whilst eating (you don't have to go the whole hog, but do show appreciation in a way you feel comfortable with, that you might not normally do). For the men touching men thing, if that makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you could avoid initiating contact, but teach yourself to be relaxed and accepting of cheek kisses/hugs whatever when they are directed at you, so you don't give offence. In your own home, of course, you may observe whatever customs you like, but to live in another society means observing their social niceties, and respecting their way of life. I live in the UK, always have, and we are seeing first hand here the problems that have come with not insisting that immigrants integrate with society - for far too long we have bent over backwards to accommodate their needs (which we should) but not asked that they interact with the existing culture - and this is now causing deep division and distrust on both sides, on top of language barriers. I have also travelled extensively, and would always do my best to be polite in the acceptable manner of the country I am in. The Queen is a good example of foreign etiquette - if the culture she is visiting demands shoes off.. she removes them... eat with your fingers? But of course...
5 :
I would follow the rules where I lived.
6 :
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7 :
Im an exchange student in France and Im Indian and our cultures clash all the time. Here are the things ive observed over these 8 months : 1) They eat EVERYTHING with forks and knives. Even pizza and burgers. Where I live, we eat with our hands and eat with forks and knives only in restraunts. EXCEPT pizzas and burgers. 2) We remove the shoes before stepping into a home. Its polite and we believe that doing this is a way we show wppriciation for God's creation. In France you have to have shoes on ALL the time. 3) Food here has a LOT of meat and bread in it. In India, if we are non veg, we eat only chicken and most of us are purely veg. or Jains which is what we call people who cant even eat foods grown in the ground like potatoes. 4) Here they greet each other by touching cheeks. In India we just shake hands or give the curt hug or join our hands and say namasté. 5) They love mustard here and HATE ketchup. In India its the opposite. 6) Here they spend a bundle on make up and beauty products. We dont. There are so many more....Ive adapted well to this new culture...all observations are on my website in ''the French Life'' section
8 :
ahh i knew you were in asia! im korean, grew up mostly in the US. whenever my cousin comes over from KOREA he chews so loudly with his mouth open its really RUDe and even when we tell him to stop, he can't because of the habit. Personaly i think its disgusting.. oh and im from Southern Calfornia too =) to answer your question, just try your best to adapt to their culture, wouldn't you hate it when your cousin came over and talked with his mouth full and spit food in your face? haha
9 :
omg! i'm vietnamese living in southern ca! and i would just do what they do there. when in vietnam do as the viet do. it won't be that hard to adapt. or maybe even adopt only the customs you think more acceptable from each culture.







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